Networking: Think of it as a conversation...not small talk

How often have your heard someone say, "I hate networking...small talk is meaningless" after leaving a job fair or a formal networking event? On the other hand, haven't you also heard about the great conversations your friends have had in line at a bookstore or at a holiday gathering?

Both sets of opportunities could be viewed as networking events; we just think about them differently.

At a recent career conference, Elizabeth Freedman spoke about building relationships. One of her key points focused on networking. She suggested that we do away with networking and focus on having as many conversations with as many people as possible. When we concentrate on having conversations, honest connections build.

According to Merriam-Webster, a conversation is an "oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas (2): an instance of such exchange :talk conversation> b: an informal discussion of an issue by representatives of governments, institutions, or groups c: an exchange similar to conversation." That's not very intimidating, is it? We have all had quick conversations where we've exchange observations with another person.

Susan RoAne, bestselling author and keynote speaker offers a few helpful tips for building a conversation instead of getting stuck in meaningless small talk. She suggests that we focus on what people are saying instead of thinking about the next line. By listening, we understand what our counterpart would like to talk about and we can provide thoughtful responses about it to start a real conversation. Second, we shouldn't feel intimidated to begin talking immediately about huge topics (poverty, politics, etc.). Start small with a comment about the food, music, and location of the event and go from there. This will help establish a connection that will lead to bigger and better conversations.

Once the small connection is made, it will be a lot easier to build a relationship in the future. Now, when an interesting article comes up that relates to a conversation you had with someone, you can forward it along to foster the relationship. This is how your network will grow without all of the small talk!